Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Foreign.
[00:00:14] Speaker B: Welcome to Battle Ready. I'm Ricky Chavez. Today I want to begin with the truth that applies in the military, in business, in leadership, and in life. You know, people do not rise to the moment by accident. They rise because someone helped prepare them for the pressure they're going to face.
When we talk about leadership, we often focus on adults already in the workforce or executive already carrying responsibility, or even teams already under stress. But leadership begins much earlier. It begins with character, begins with confidence, begins with communication, self worth and discipline. And the brave conversations that help young people understand who they are before they even know what they're going to do. My guest today is Jasmine Davis, founder and CEO of Pretty Talk llc. Jasmine is a full time entrepreneur and a public speaker who empowers young people, especially young women, through brave conversations centered on character and leadership development. Her work is rooted in mentoring, coaching and young youth development. Her community investment, time and purpose driven entrepreneurship helps her get to where she's at.
Jasmine, welcome to the show.
[00:01:18] Speaker A: Thank you.
[00:01:20] Speaker B: You up there, you so quiet. You say so. Thank you. Come on, listen. You know, I told you earlier, we do a little different here. You know, it's just, you just have a lot of interaction. You know, as we start the conversation, I want everyone watching to think about young people in your family, in your community, our school, your workplace, or your or your circle of influence. I also want you to think they are going to be the people that are running our world pretty soon.
So, Jasmine, tell me a little bit about what you do.
[00:01:49] Speaker A: Yeah, so hello again. Thank you so much for having me. Pretty Talk, LLC is dedicated to curating and cultivating brave conversations with young people. And that all starts with providing character and leadership development for them and professional development for the adults that serve them. And so we take our time to really break down components of character that are important. Some somewhat going back to the basics of character because we have gotten lost in that with just culture and society and the way things go. So it's always a pleasure to see young people really taking these nuggets and beginning to thrive, even in this space that we hold together.
[00:02:35] Speaker B: When you work with young people today, what leadership gaps do you see showing up now and then before they ever even start entering the workforce?
[00:02:44] Speaker A: Yeah, well, I think that the biggest leadership gap I see is communication, and that's written and verbal. I think there's a lot of space where young people, for a variety of reasons, they are literally left behind in their education. And so I see young people come in, I challenge them with activities and I will see how they're communicating in their writing. And I'm like, oh, man. And of course, that's not my job, right, Because I'm not their teacher. But I do see an opportunity. Opportunity for me to pour into them in the space we hold together, to teach them little nuggets, especially about just that written form of writing. And then I really jump in in that verbal form. I challenge young people all day, every day. Even just had an experience with the young person as we were closing out a session before the summer. And I challenged her, and it pricked her little heart and she had tears in her eyes. But I said, I hope that she remembers this lesson so that when she goes out and she never sees Ms. Jasmine, then she'll know, hey, when I'm in this type of environment, I don't have to speak a certain way. I don't have to behave in this way. I can actually take my time, articulate what I'm trying to say without offending anyone else. And so that's what I just love to do in helping young people to grow.
[00:04:03] Speaker B: You know, it's funny you said writing. I'll tell you the story. My daughter was a sophomore, maybe a junior in college, and she was pledging a sorority. And they called and said, hey, listen, on this date, we're all. We're bringing all the parents in, and we're going to. You know, they've done everything. Now they're going to join the sorority. Can you write a little letter to that. To your daughter so that she can read with her basket when. When, you know, she gets. I don't remember what's called confirmed or whatever. Whatever is in sorority. So I wrote this letter and I took my time and I made. You know, I ended up having to rewrite a bunch of times because handwritten.
And I. I put it together. I put it in a basket, and they gave it out to all the kids. And all the kids were, like, crying and this, that and the other. And my daughter was just looking at the letter, and she really didn't have any emotions.
So we were like. I was like, dog. I. I wrote a good letter. I know it was, you know, emotional, and it was all that. But I wrote it in cursive. She couldn't recursive.
[00:05:08] Speaker A: Yeah.
Yeah. It's so interesting because I had two groups this school year that were like, hey, can we write incursive? I'm like, sure, go ahead. And of course, some of it was illegible. You really couldn't see. They're still figuring it out. But the fact that they were excited to do it, I'm like. Because that's a lost art right now.
[00:05:27] Speaker B: I mean, no, for sure.
[00:05:29] Speaker A: There's so many things that are incursive and even you having to provide a signature incursive for many things, you know. So that's a great story. Thank you for sharing that.
[00:05:38] Speaker B: It's code. It's like code now. You know, if we want to send code, me and my wife want to send code to each other, we just write in cursive.
[00:05:44] Speaker A: Writing cursive.
[00:05:46] Speaker B: So what do you believe character development has to come with, you know, before career development. Why do you believe that?
[00:05:54] Speaker A: Well, I think that is so important because trust is paramount to anything that you're doing in life. And so that's one of the pillars of pretty talk and teaching young people that it's important that you're a trustworthy person.
Because if you come into my personal space or my business space and I can't trust you, I can't trust the value of your work, I can't trust what you're doing. I've had an example of that just recently in my own life where it's like you said you were coming to do something, you didn't.
And that is always something that's going to follow you, right? That's never going to leave you. How you show up and do your job, how you actually make sure you take time, make sure you do your due diligence, do that is important. And young people, sometimes they're not thinking about that one because they're children. They don't need to in many spaces. But when we're teaching them and educating them, for me, it's important that they know trust is something that people are constantly going to be looking at to evaluate. Can I trust what they say? Can I trust that they're going to come in here and do their job? Especially if you have jobs that are unconventional, because most of the time people are trusting you to get something done. And that's a lot of young millennials and Gen Z, they' doing things out of the box. And so it's like, hey, I love that for you. But you have to make sure that you are actually doing the work that you said you're going to come and you're going to do.
[00:07:19] Speaker B: You know, the one thing I, I've noticed about the younger generation and when it comes to communication, they're very direct.
And, and, and, and sometimes their directness, you know, older people like me might get a little offended.
So how do you coach them through that.
[00:07:35] Speaker A: Yes.
This is such a great question because so many people had this conversation in the spaces I'm in and I'm like, you know, it's a two way street. So we have to understand as the older individuals in this scenario that hey, I have to give them space to speak. I have to give them space to express themselves without feeling attacked. They're going to say it differently than me. They're going to use language different than me because I don't know what they're talking about. Right. So they may say, afraid that to you might be disrespectful. But they're like, no, this actually means a good thing.
So you have to take time to ask questions. Right. If you don't understand something, ask them. That will help relieve a lot of the pressure of feeling like they're being disrespectful. But then for the young people, it's important that they understand.
When you're speaking to your elders, when you're talking to your elders, you have to make sure that you are taking the time to be mindful of your words, mindful of your tone, mindful of even if you have hurt feelings about a situation.
Right. They're not. Most of the time, most of the time people are not coming to just intentionally insult and hurt you. They're coming with their own baggage, they're coming with their own ideas, they're coming with their own set of language. So you really have to take time to communicate. Communicate and make sure that I'm asking the right questions. Again, as I said, for the elders. So I think for both ends, in order to not feel offended in either way, they're being disrespectful. They're not speaking well, they're not listening to me, they don't care about how I feel. The only way you can really get down to the crux of it is if you take time to be quiet and actually listen so you can ask clarifying questions to get to the ultimate goal that you're trying to get to in whatever scenario you're in.
[00:09:35] Speaker B: You know, the other thing that, that I, that I experience is, you know, ownership. What I mean by ownership is I had a conversation with a young person the other day and you know, there were, there were some lot of failures in what they were supposed to do and they took no ownership.
[00:09:55] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:09:55] Speaker B: And it's coaching through that.
[00:09:58] Speaker A: Absolutely.
So I had, I can give you an example actually as we like wrapping up. Right. Because these examples, I'm loving them.
I had a group of young Ladies I was working with and this young lady has sticky fingers and I wasn't going to embarrass her, but I'm like, I know she took it. I can just tell just the way she was moving, the way she was talking. And she really tried to talk circles around.
No, it just accidentally came underneath my box. No, it didn't, honey. You put it under your box, right? You knew that that belonged to someone else and you wanted it for yourself. And so literally, especially for adults, you have to be patient when you're trying to teach certain principles, especially depending on the age. There's a difference between when a young person is in complete adolescent mode and their brain is just in superhero space, where it's like, I can do whatever I want to do and nothing's ever going to touch me. Right. Versus when a young person like we were talking about earlier is older. Right. And they're in that 18 to 25 range where some of these choices you make, they're going to start having lasting consequences. Right. And so being able to just have patience and actually talk them through, hey, you're going to get found out either way. So whether you get found out now or whether you get found out later, right? It's going to come out. So why not just get ahead of it and show some character? Back to your last question. And actually be honest and upfront about what's going on because most of the time, time, people are readily available to help you if you're willing to be truthful.
[00:11:35] Speaker B: All right, so we'll come back to that for sure. So we'll take a short break and when we come back, we'll talk a little bit with Jasmine Davis about her experience in the Juvenile Justice League and how she helped shape her purpose and ultimately led to the creation of 3Talk LLC. We'll be right back.
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So I'm continuing my conversation with Jasmine. We laughed a little bit during the break here. You know that she's the founder of and CEO of Pretty Talk llc. Now I want to move into an experience that shaped her mission before building her purpose driven business. Jasmine's career in juvenile justice and administration helped ignite her commitment to supporting youth, families, local economies, and national youth organizations. The kind of experience that gives leaders a different lens, you know, different perspective, you know, Jasmine, tell me a little about, you know, how did this happen?
[00:12:58] Speaker A: How did I get into the juvenile justice field?
[00:13:00] Speaker B: Well, now, how did juvenile justice, you know, lead you to where you're at now?
[00:13:05] Speaker A: Oh, absolutely.
So, like I said, when we were, you know, starting, I love young people, and I love seeing them thrive. I love seeing them excel, and especially those that have not had a great hand or have had a rough start. Like, I'm really, really passionate about that. And so in juvenile justice, my time there actually began with boys, and I absolutely was dedicated and committed to it.
That led me to being able to go into administration when I realized there's some critical foundational pieces that we're missing. Right. You're trying to fix a problem, but you got to get to the root of the problem. And so one day, as I was sitting there, I recognized, I want to do this earlier. I want to get to young people before they even get over here, because that's where the real issue is stemming from. And so at that desk, Pretty talk was birthed in my mind, in my imagination, And I realized, hey, I really want to see young people thrive and excel. And I believe it truly starts with communication and teaching them the value and the principles of owning who they are. Right.
And that's really how Pretty talk came out of my time in juvenile justice.
[00:14:25] Speaker B: No, I was telling you during the break. You know, I used to be a military recruiter. I was a military recruiter, like, 14, 15 years. And, you know, I used to go to a lot of the Boys and girls club homes and things like that. But one of the places that. That I went, that. That really was kind of an emotional thing for me. It was the homes for the unwed mothers, you know, the young girls, 16, 17, 18, that. That were getting ready to have a baby and didn't know the direction they were going. Maybe they were going to have to, you know, put the baby up for adoption or. Or whatever scenario best fit them. But they felt so lost.
They felt like there's nothing else for them. And I can remember having conversations with them and, you know, presenting them, you know, like I say, there's life after the army. There's life after everything you can. That's what this show's about. You know, how do you reinvent yourself? What are your experiences with that?
[00:15:22] Speaker A: I love that as far as young people are reinventing myself.
[00:15:26] Speaker B: Well, both 100.
[00:15:28] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. No, I think that when young people come into the system, they're already coming with that, you know, that scarlet letter on. They're already coming with the offense they committed. They already kind of come in with the trauma that has precipitated whatever decision that they made. Right.
And so I think sometimes it's important that we remember they're already beating themselves up, they're already frustrated with themselves. Right. And so a lot of the times the behaviors that we get is just their defense mechanism. And so I think when you're trying to help young people, you really want to make sure that you are not getting offended by this outward exterior that is really just them protecting themselves because they are embarrassed, they are insecure, they are, you know, all those things that come as a result of having, you know, again, that scarlet letter on you that come as having that embarrassment or that shame that you've experienced. Now, for myself, reinventing has been interesting. I will actually celebrate three years full time on July 1st.
It will be three years that I've been doing this work as an entrepreneur, and I absolutely love it. It's teaching me the value of my time and what, like you said to me earlier, which I really took what's really important to me, you know, all the frills and thrills, those are good things that are cool to experience.
But at the end of the day, you know, my journey of entrepreneurship is so that I can actually live the life that I want to live with my family and even in business, right. I can serve young people in a non traditional way. I don't have to do it in that traditional framework as far as like a 9 to 5 or something like that. And that to me is really, really exciting.
[00:17:32] Speaker B: You know, I know it's always scary, especially when you start talking about being an entrepreneur. That means you're now you're responsible for what you do and what don't, what don't happen and, you know, how you get the funding and how you pay the bills, both with the business and on your. On your family side. So, I mean, that's amazing in itself.
Was there a moment when you realized your purpose could no longer stay inside a traditional career path?
Hmm.
[00:18:04] Speaker A: Was there a moment? I think so. I think the biggest moment for me, and I've said it before, so you probably could see it on another show, was after I lost my father.
I was very, very close to my father.
And when he passed, for me, I was just sitting there like, what am I doing with life? Like Am I truly living the dreams that I told him I wanted to live? Am I trul.
Going towards those things?
And it took about maybe a year after that happened, where I finally made the decision to break away from the traditional 9 to 5 job market and jump into entrepreneurship. Because my dad was always saying, go for it, do it, try it. The worst thing you can do is fail. And one of my favorite quotes now is, it's not just failing, it's realizing what's not going to work. And you can just try to find a different way that something will work. Right? And so that is. Yeah, yeah. Like I. I'm so encouraged by things like that because I think as an entrepreneur, you can't beat yourself up when something doesn't work. Everything is not going to work.
Everything is not going to go the way you expect it to go. So you have to learn how to pivot. You have to learn how to be flexible.
And so I think, you know, that big change in my life, it really jolted me into realizing, you're either going to do it and you're going to take the leap or you're not. And at the same time, I'm getting to fulfill the things that I talked about with my dad. And that's. That's really cool.
[00:19:45] Speaker B: You know, the cool thing about what you just said as far as failing is concerned, you know, I've had quite a few guests on, and I think one of the commonalities is, you know, if you're not. If you're not failing, you're not trying, right? You, you, you have to, you know, you can't succeed if you don't try, but you got to be prepared to fail if you learn from that. Like you said, if it's right, then things happen. So listen, if our guests out there or anybody watching the show, you know, has a young person and they want to continue the conversation or maybe introduce them to you, tell me, how can somebody get a hold of you?
[00:20:20] Speaker A: Yeah, so all you have to do is go to www.prettytalk llc.com and you can find all of and contact information there. You can see more about our programming, you can see more about all that we're offering, even to our caring adults that serve young people. So we would love to talk to you and have a conversation. So, yeah, just visit that. And our website has actually been updated, so it's super exciting to see the changes. And yeah, we would love to talk to you. So please hit us up. We're on all social media platforms as Pretty Talk llc.
[00:20:59] Speaker B: You know, That's. And it's a pretty website, so, yeah, nice and colorful. So now tell me about.
So do you go into schools? Do you go. How do you meet the people that you're talking to?
[00:21:16] Speaker A: Yeah, so a lot of it especially, and I'm so grateful in these first three years has been word of mouth. People see the work that I've done and they're like, hey, you should have them come. I have a great collaborative partner who does a boys program. And whenever people are saying, hey, we need something for our girls, he's like, hey, I got someone. Try her out, you know, and so that has been really exciting. And from those relationships and from principals and counselors, people seeing what I do, they're like, hey, please come back. I already have principals that are like, send the contract for next year. Let's make it happen. Let's do it. So it's really exciting to see that the work is actually making an impact and that I'm actually able to show what this qualitative work can do because it's hard sometimes to explain that. But when you see people's reactions to going into the school, seeing how the young people are responding to your presence and just being there, it's really encouraging. And so I'm super grateful for that.
[00:22:20] Speaker B: Like I told you earlier in the show, you know, I should be a military recruiter. So I went to every kind of high school. I mean, are recruited in Chicago out of the Cabrini Green area, where one of the worst ghettos in America, all the way to some of the nicest schools.
And the point behind this is this.
These kids that need to learn how to talk, they come from everywhere at risk kids, right?
[00:22:46] Speaker A: Everywhere. Thank you so much. And, you know, we've changed the language in the space a little bit to high need. Right?
Because it could be not just at risk, but also high need children. Children.
And that is everywhere. I literally. It's so interesting that you just said that. I literally just had this conversation yesterday with someone talking about being in these more affluent areas, but then also being in these very high need areas. And sometimes what is needed in the space is totally different, Right? But at the end of the day, they're children, they're looking for support, they're looking for guidance, they're looking for help. And so it sometimes can be difficult to get into those schools where it's like, oh, well, we have this together. But how is their social emotional space? How are they mentally? How are they faring well there? Because it's not just about how they're performing, but when they go home, do they feel good about themselves? Do they have confidence in themselves? Do they know who they are? Are they easily influenced by peer pressure? Right.
Thing that we want to start looking into because as you get older, it doesn't change. It just gets more and more pressure.
[00:24:05] Speaker B: But we're going to talk about a little bit more about that when we come right back after this next break. Talking some more with Ms. Davis.
Hey, welcome back. If you're a parent, mentor, educator, employer, coach, or leader, this is part of the conversation for you to learn from the skills that we sometimes call soft, often skills that determine whether people can handle pressure, communicate clearly, build trust, and lead with maturity. So I'm here with Jasmine Davis. Jasmine, welcome back.
[00:24:41] Speaker A: Thank you.
[00:24:43] Speaker B: You know, when we started, when we ended our last little segment, we started talking about, you know, where the kids with needs are. And I think we both agreed that it doesn't matter the lifestyle they come from, whether it's an affluent neighborhood or less influent. I'll tell you this. I used to think, you know, I was kind of middle of the road, right. But I will say I told my son, Tommy, don't burn. Don't touch that stove. You're gonna burn your hand. And, you know, he. Look at me and listen a little bit. Touch the stone bird's hand.
[00:25:13] Speaker A: Look at me all crazy.
[00:25:14] Speaker B: And then somebody that he didn't even know said, those stoves are hot. And all of a sudden, it's rocket science, just about connecting the right people. And that's what you do, right?
[00:25:24] Speaker A: Yes.
Yep. Yep.
[00:25:27] Speaker B: So tell me how you do that. How do you, how do you. Yeah, how do you break the ice with these, these young, young, young Americans that feel like they know everything?
[00:25:38] Speaker A: Yeah.
It can be a task. It can be a task. I just had an event at a school, and a young lady who was, was one of my top challenges, she looked at me and she was walking through the hallway and she didn't engage with me in this event that I was at, but she remembered me. And she looked, she's like, what's up? And I said, what's up? You know, and I just remember our time together because she posed a huge challenge from the first day we met. And I remember her being so defensive and she was ready to attack. And now she had come from an incident, incident that she was dealing with during the day. She brought that into group, and I just challenged her. I said, so are you going to come into group and join us or are you going to have to dismiss yourself so that you can handle whatever it is that you need to handle. And I remember she kind of just looked at me and she slid in a seat and she didn't say anything. And by the end of our time together, she was my top student looking out for me, telling the other students to get it together. She wasn't going to deal with it. And again, just seeing her a couple weeks ago, she looked at me and just smiled and was like, hey, you know? And so I knew I made enough of an impact to develop a relationship with her that was cordial, that let her know, you can be safe in this space. You don't have to be upset, you don't have to be angry. You can relax your walls when you're here. Right. And even if. If it's just for the time being, I think it's important that we show grace to young people and kindness because just like us as adults, we come and we have all types of stuff going on and sometimes we just need a minute to regroup, like we really do. And I think sometimes we forget because we're the adult and it's like, hey, I need to tell them. I need to set them straight. No, sometimes I just need to be quiet because they might just need a minute. And I think that would help us to heal relationships, but also to build the relationships as well, because young people will know, hey, I'm not going to get attacked every time I come into this space. I'm actually going to have an opportunity to, number one, woosa and number two, be heard. And so I think that that's how we start building relationships with young people is we make sure that we are not attacking them in the name of. I'm just trying to teach them. I just want them to be right. I just want them to be better. Yeah, but sometimes the greatest teach.
Well, not sometimes. Teachers are always quiet during the test, Right. They always let the young person work it out. Right. And then that will show them, what have you learned? What have you done? Have you increased? And if not, let's go back to this and figure out what happened.
[00:28:29] Speaker B: You know, while I listened to that, my mind was rolling a million miles. You know, I'm old, old school.
I'm old school. Oh, my gosh.
You know, I'm that. I'm that, you know. You know, I have 12 grandkids. I told you that, right? And I love them. I love them to death, but they got to do what I need them to do if, you know, they got to listen to Their parents. And I struggle with that. So I'm thinking that maybe you needed to put some pretty talk out for some of us older guys, help us be able to tone down. Because I know, I know when I was in school, I mean, when I was younger and in the high schools, you know, with the kids and everything, I. I found out that once I determined. You ever heard the acronym wifm W. I. I FM with him. What's in it for me? Once I got them realizing what's in it for them, I mean, that's where we turned everything around. But nowadays, I. I gotta work on my patience.
I'm guilty. I got to be. I am guilty.
So. So how do you help the young people deal with old people like me?
[00:29:35] Speaker A: No. Where you're not. Oh, I.
I love, you know, encouraging young people to be vulnerable.
I had that own scenario in my life when I wanted to see something change.
And even to this day, a relationship with a family member, and even to this day, it can be difficult to engage them because we are just so different.
The age gap, the social and emotional awareness, right. That is just not there. I think we have to remember we are growing up, and we've grown up in two different times, right? So the, you know, everybody X and older, right. They grew up in that generation where it's like, when you're spoken to, don't say nothing. Just say yes, just do it. What not. And then you have the end of X and younger millennials, Gen Z Alpha. They're growing up. And express yourself. Say why you don't feel like that. Right? Because we've learned that there's a lot of mental and emotional consequences and implications that come with not being able to express yourself. Right? A lot of people that are older, you see this very aloof, like, I'm. I'm attacked, but I. I don't have to be you. You see this emotionless, you know, thing sometimes. That's what I've experienced with some of the hardest, hardest relationships in my life with people older. So what I try to do is remind young people that they're people too. A lot of times we're looking at our parents, our grandparents, aunties, uncles, and a. All of them. We're looking at them as, as superheroes, supermen, super women. They don't have flaws. They don't make mistakes. And it's like, we have to realize they do have their own story. They're coming with their own stuff. So when they're talking to you, they're not necessarily talking to you out of A way of trying to be rude or trying to be inconsiderate. They're talking to you because they know what it was like when they experienced something and they're nervous and they don't want you to have to experience it maybe in the same negative way that they did.
And so I think encouraging young people to remember that they also have flaws because it's hard for us. You know, think about it. When your kids look at you, they're like, mom, dad, you can do anything, you can provide everything. You don't have any problems, right? And then we grow up and we realize, oh, they do, they do have things that they have to deal with. But as a child, you don't necessarily recognize that.
And so I think we have to learn. And that's one of the things that I love to do within pre talk is bridge that gap and teach people to recognize those things and be considerate and patient and show grace to each other.
[00:32:29] Speaker B: Social media and digital culture and the online comparison, you know, affect the real world communication and self confidence of these young people.
[00:32:38] Speaker A: Oh, absolutely. Social media, it is a tool that needs to be used to help us, you know, in our business and then just, you know, maybe connecting with people that we otherwise would not be able to connect with. But we have to be able to compartmentalize it. I think that when we start thinking that this is the way I'm gonna express to someone that I'm upset, this is the way that I'm gonna express to someone that I don't like how this situation or incident has happened. That's when we start messing up. That's when we start getting into the space of effective communication, is when you actually talk to.
But social media makes us.
What does it say?
I think it's like Internet, Internet heroes or.
Oh, man. It's basically a phrase that talks about being more confident behind the screen. It's a word, a term, and it's just not coming to my brain right now. But we're more confident because we're not in person. So you say things recklessly, but then if you were in person, you don't say it. And so I think we have to remind people, yeah, we have to remind people that you have to have the courage to actually have a conversation. Don't be a coward and hide behind a screen.
Answer the phone, pick up the phone, call that person, see them in person, ask if you can speak and do it respectfully. Right.
So I think that social media, it just, it really alters the way that people show up because you don't necessarily have to deal one on one and face to face, but that can cause a lot of issues.
[00:34:28] Speaker B: Well, that's, there's a lot of not in person bullying going on, right?
[00:34:33] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:34:34] Speaker B: You know, and then, then you have the other hand where, I mean, everybody has the perfect life, life on social media. Right. I know that, you know, I'll tell my wife, hey, you know, our friends are getting divorced. They're like, what?
We just saw them overseas doing this, that and the other. Everything's beautiful. And all of a sudden we find out, oh God, it's not going on. So I mean, I tell everybody, I make the joke that everybody has a degree in Google now. You know, everybody thinks they know everything and everything on social media is, is perfect. But how do we help the young generation understand that they got to take it with a grain of salt.
[00:35:15] Speaker A: Yeah. I think it really starts with reminding them of who they are from within.
Right. And one of the tenets of pretty talk is making sure that young people value the uniqueness of who they are. I'm not trying to be like anybody else. You know, I told a friend recently I want to stay in my lane because there's no traffic in my lane. I'm not trying to get in your lane and mess up your journey. You know, I don't want you to come in mine and try to mess up mine. I think we really have to encourage people to recognize and even older adults, because I see older adults do the same thing. I'm trying to be like them or what don't they have? It's like, no, don't do that. Yeah, don't stop trying to keep up with other people. Do what you are tasked to do, what you're excited about doing. And that's what's going to help you to not be worried about comparing yourself to other people. When you have confidence and you know the value of, of what you uniquely bring to the table.
[00:36:14] Speaker B: You know, what this conversation makes clear is that communication, confidence, emotional intelligence and even character are not extras. They are readiness tools. And you help them find that. We'll be right back with Ms. Davis right after this commercial.
Stay connected to Battle Ready and every other NOW Media. Media tv favorite live or on demand, anytime you like. Download the free Now Media TV app on Roku or iOS and unlock non stop bilingual programming in English and Spanish. If you're on the move, catch the podcast version on www.nowmedia.tv. it's from business news to lifestyle culture and beyond, Now Media is streaming around the clock. Ready whenever you are. I'm here with Ms. Jasmine Davis. We, I think some of our best conversations are during the commercial, you know, you know, so we have Ms. Jasmine here with Pretty Talk LLC and she helps the young people assimilate into the world and maybe it helps them understand people like me.
And, and now she was working during the break trying to make me understand the young generation because, you know, I'm old school and that's a struggle for me. For sure. Sure, for sure.
[00:37:33] Speaker A: And that's okay.
[00:37:34] Speaker B: You know what? So talk to me in any of your groups or do you ever have opportunities where you bring the two different worlds together and, and, and try to facilitate a, or mediate a conversation or interaction?
[00:37:50] Speaker A: So in the schools, I am working towards that. Right. That is an interesting bear, because the teachers are usually like, yay, I got a little break. But it's like, no, we need to actually bring this in and have you come. So I will hopefully see that in this upcoming school year because I would absolutely love to do it now in the community. I have had an opportunity to do that where I was able to get a group of baby boomers and Xers and we sat with some millennials and we had some really in depth conversations about just connection and what that looks like. And a lot of the things that came up, up with young people expressing their voice to say, you all don't listen to us, you're not hearing us, right? You're not seeing us when we're telling you we're struggling in a certain area or we are having an issue in a certain area, because you just want what you want, right? You see something, maybe even for us, you have this desire, but you're not really asking, is that what you would like to do? Is there a way we can compromise? Is there a way we can come into the middle?
And I think today you do have to at least consider that that has to be an option. And I only say that because when your children are not with you, when they're in school, when they're in the communities, they are being taught to, hey, go for what you want, speak up, share how you feel. Right? And I grew up, I love to say I got the best of both worlds because my parents didn't play. But my parents also let me just be Jasmine. And sometimes that was to their annoyance, right? And as the books would say, to their chagrin, they would be very irritated, right? Because I was a talker, I was very adventurous. I moved around all the time.
And then I got in a lot of trouble. Right. With my mouth. I said things I shouldn't have said. I did very little mischievous things sometimes when I didn't want to do something I was being told to do. And my mom got the big bulk of that because girls and moms, they just kind of rock a little differently than girls and their dads. But I appreciate the fact that my mom never squashed my personality. She never made me lower or dim myself. Right. She just taught me, especially as I was growing. I saw her as a woman, how she carried herself, how she handled business, how she dealt with, with issues and opposition, and she carried herself with poise, even with a little spice, but she still carried herself with poise. And I was like, you know what? In my personality, I don't have to necessarily change who I am.
I can just learn how to adjust to different situations. Right. And so it's always cool when I can come into a space where I can just be my complete, authentic self without any of that. But there are certain times where I do have to value and appreciate that. I've been taught, taught how to control and manage myself in a space with people that may not hear me, may not like what I'm saying, may not agree with what I'm saying. I don't have to blow up and get upset. And I think that goes to that self leadership piece where it's like, I have to learn how to manage myself. Right. And one of the things that the young people, they, they love when I said self regulation.
Exactly, right. We have to learn how to regulate ourselves because you're not always going to be in the most comfortable, comfortable position. Right. But that doesn't mean that you become somebody totally different and lose sight of who you are.
[00:41:37] Speaker B: One of the big challenges that I see is that, that people struggle with having conversations and, and, you know, and being able to talk to somebody when they totally disagree with that person, you know?
[00:41:53] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:41:53] Speaker B: And you have to agree to disagree.
But that's, that's just a phrase that most people use that they really can't handle.
[00:42:05] Speaker A: Oh, absolutely. I, I say that all the time. Agree to disagree. Right.
Because I think that's where people get offended. And it's like, why are you getting offended? You're two different people. It's okay to have two different opinions about something. Right.
Let's not be disrespectful. Full. Right. Because that's when you, you know, start feeling those, you know, feelings of frustration and anger and et cetera. But I think it's okay to say, hey, I don't necessarily agree with how you're, you know, handling that.
And at the end of the day, it may work for you, it may not work for you. It actually may work for me, or it may not work for me. But we won't know if we don't know how to share different thoughts. And that's all a part of being human and being in this world and working together with others.
And so I think one thing I hear, not too long ago, it was this year, and I forget what month it might have been. April.
I was at an event, and this woman, she said, I've learned to come to agreements, she said, because alignment is not always possible.
No, you know, and I loved, and I believe I'm saying that correctly. If I'm not, I'll correct myself later. But she was essentially saying, there are times when I'm going to sit in a space with you and you are going to have a feeling. Feeling about a situation, and I'm going to have a feeling about a situation. And they will not align with each other. They, they will not. Right. And that could be for a mirage of reasons. We're different backgrounds, different, you know, social, emotional, economic backgrounds, all of those things.
[00:43:43] Speaker B: Right.
[00:43:43] Speaker A: Those are going to inform how we feel about certain things. However, we can agree. I'm not going to disrespect you. I'm not going to say things that intentionally are used to harm you or to make you uncomfort.
I want this space to be a place where I can show up in my authentic self and just be like, you know what? That's who they are. And I'm not going to try to change them. That's not my job. But my job is to make sure that I'm always kind and compassionate and thoughtful towards anybody that comes into my space. And so I think that that's very important in general for all people, young and old. We all have to be more conscious and mindful that we have to make agreements when we know we won't allow. Fine.
[00:44:28] Speaker B: You know, it's, it's, you know, thinking about that now, today's, you know, as, as they grow. But my, my question is, you know, when they get into the workforce and they disagree and they, and they, and they start that argument scene, you know, I think that's where the challenge to a lot of employers are. They're, you know, I'll tell you, I, I run a real estate team, so I partner with five or six agents. They're on my team team. They're entrepreneurs. I'm entrepreneur They've decided to partner with me. And. And I know one of the things I got to throw out at the beginning is. And I said, you might not like it, but do as I say, not as I do, you know, and they're like, what do you mean? I'm like, different place in my life, in my business. I'm trying to teach you how to build your business so that it's long term versus, I mean, I'm thinking 36 months, and I'm gonna, you know, hit the box and go, ready? I'm ready to retire.
So how. How do you help the young people to understand, you know, there's a time and a place, and it's all about presentation.
[00:45:34] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. I mean, I.
That's so interesting that you said, do as I say and not as I do. We have to come back to that piece because that's a big. That's a big one. But I think, especially with employees, years, this is where I know you see a lot of articles right now talking about the changing landscape of the workforce and how you had so many more millennials and gen zers that are starting to enter, and then you see so much more turnover than you did with, you know, other millennials and Xers and boomers, of course. Right.
And that's because they are in a space where they can change their mind, they can shift, they can say, hey, I want this. Hey, I don't want to do that. Right. So as an employer, you do have to find the sweet. I think between how do I engage these young people, how do I make sure that they're hurting us so that they feel like they are actually valued as a person and as a member of this team. And also give them a little space to be creative, because most of these young people today, they are creative. They think outside the box. They're not trying to be stifled. Right. And so I think you do have to consider that just because of the day and age in which we're living, there's something around the corner. I mean, look at the simplest things like McDonald's, Taco Bell, burger King. They can switch their price that they're paying so quick, fast, and in a hurry and give an incentive. And it's like, yep, I'm going over there, because that's a better deal. Right? That's just what the day and time we live in. And so I think that employers with, you know, businesses that are more corporate, we really have to consider how we are engaging them. And if they feel that they are actually adding value to it because that's important for humans in general. They want to feel heard and they want to feel like they're adding value. And so the last thing I would say as far as that, you know, do as I say and not as I do. You know, what do they say? Children are sponges. They soak up everything that you give them. Right. And I'm giving this as an example. And when you wring that sponge out, what happens? It just pours out what was soaked in. In.
Right. It might look a little different, you know, it might, you know, show up in a different way, but what they got is what they're going to give out. So when, for instance, when I see you excelling and about to retire, it's like, hey, I want that.
I'm not thinking about all the years of work and time that you put in to be able to have that mentality. Gray hair, right? I'm not thinking about that. And so I think that's an opportunity to say, hey, let me tell you how I got here, because I'm pushing you now from a place of being here. But you're going to have to walk through some of these things, and that's why I'm here, to help you avoid some of the pitfalls and to navigate some of the challenges that I had so that maybe you can get here quicker, but you're still going to have to take the journey. It's like starting like that, you know. So I think that that's always helpful in bridging some of those gaps of them. Seeing you do one thing but telling them to do another, another.
[00:48:44] Speaker B: All right, so we want to thank Jasmine Davis for joining us today. You know, kind of ran out of time sharing her insight on youth leadership, brave conversations, character development and entrepreneurship, mentorship, and the importance of preparing the next J generation before we pressure before the pressure arrives. That's what we believe in in battle. Ray, Leadership is not built in comfort. It's built through preparation, discipline, courage and service and people willing to invest in others before they world test them. Jasmine, thanks a lot for being with us, guys. Thanks for joining us in battle Ready. And if you want to reach out to Jasmine, go ahead and go to Pretty Talk llc.
[00:49:20] Speaker A: Thank you.
